Freedom at last

The transit and Sanatan Sanstha

Sanatan Sanstha has identified the route, has made fool proof plans and coordinated my escape. My escape from a stifling environment, from relationships that were binding me down and were not allowing me to fly away, were not allowing me to follow the spiritual path and were stopping me from going on the path of Moksha. I am free, totally free.

Why am I feeling empty inside me? Is it because of the tensions, is it because of the hunger (I have not eaten anything throughout the day) or is it the feeling of Chaitanya? Am I really free?

I reach Sanatan Sanstha ashram Devad. I am not accustomed to traveling alone but the sadhaks have told me that I have to make this journey alone. It is symbolic, very symbolic. I am touched, I have cried throughout the journey and am excited to have at last reached my destination. The Devad ashram is only a transit point, it exists to filter the essentials from the non-essentials.

I catch an auto from the bus-stop and reach the ashram. As per the instructions, I call up my husband and inform him that I am at Panvel and I am safe. Why should I tell him? I am leaving him finally. I don’t question the instructions, but the first doubt comes to my mind.

Why inform my husband?

The Sanatan Sanstha Ashram Devad is a welcome sight. I feel as if I have reached a holy place; I bow down my head and kiss the steps. Some sadhaks are loitering near the entrance. They ask my identity and immediately a couple of them take me to the main room. Others close the main gates arnd arrange themselves around it.

The first question I am asked is; have I informed my husband? Have I told him that I am at Devad ashram? Have I given a written statement at the police station? No questions about my health, if I have eaten anything, nothing? I reply to all their questions and take a look at the main room. There are several other sadhaks and all appear to be waiting for something to happen; they appear to be tense.

I am given something to eat and I retire for the night. I am accompanied by two or three female sadhaks. They too appear nervous but don’t discuss anything. We go to sleep, but I cannot sleep. I lie awake the full night thinking about my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale and seekings his blessings.

The next morning, I again notice many sadhaks roaming around in the compound. All people appear to be tense. I have not yet switched on my mobile. Now, I am advised to do so and respond to all calls and tell everyone that I am at Sanatan Sanstha Ashram Devad.

This cycle repeats for one complete week. There are no activities throughout the day but only counseling sessions. The police phone me up one day to gather my whereabouts. I am told to expect the call and am also told to contact one person before responding. I reply as per his instructions.

What is Sanatan Sanstha waiting for? Why am I not allowed to proceed towards Goa?